Tag Archives: life balance

My daughter and I on a recent trip to Germany. Photo: Thomas Paul

Lets change some lives together…

Lots of people I talk to don’t know what it is I do as a coach, or who I can help. Can I clarify things for you, so you can help me spread the word?

I’m a little nervous about it. I’m not a fan of marketing spiels (and I’m guessing you’re not either). It is important, though, because I can’t help people who don’t know I’m here or what I do. And what I want to do most of all is to help more people. So, here’s the short answer:

I change lives for the better.

Every client I have worked with has left our coaching sessions a changed person, and it gives me so much satisfaction to think of the ripples of positive change that flow out from each of those clients. It’s my small way of changing the world, one person at a time.

“Really?”, you might be thinking. “That’s a big claim…”

Well, the magic of the transformative coaching technique I’m trained in is that it does what it says on the box – it transforms people. You can read my testimonials here and see for yourself the difference it makes. Here’s one client’s words that get right to the guts of it:

“My sessions with Lisa lead to life changing behaviour. In five weeks I went from frustrated and angry to calm and contented, and enjoying my job more fully than I have done for many years.”

As I work with my clients they shift perspective. They understand what is important to them, they see through the blocks that hold them back, and they learn new mindsets. The accountability, motivation and support I provide helps them make changes.

The added special sauce is the confidence and strength that comes from knowing they can rise above their own challenges and break through old limits. I don’t tell my clients what to do. I help them figure it out, and then do it for themselves, which is so much more powerful.

The result is long term, sustainable change.

“Yeah, but”, I hear you thinking, “I’m good. Coaching is not for me.”

Maybe so, but do you recognise yourself, or someone you know, in one of these statements?

  • “I hate my job but I don’t know what to do about it”
  • “I’ve got everything I thought I wanted in life – but why am I not happier?”
  • “My life is so busy – I’m cracking under the pressure.”
  • “I’m turning into a grouch and my family is hating it. It’s not who I want to be.”
  • “I feel frustrated and stuck and want to get back to loving life again.”
  • “I want to take on that next challenge, but something is holding me back.”

Coaching can help anyone who is stuck in their life and ready to fix it.

If that’s you, or someone you know, get in touch to book an assessment with me. No obligation. No cost. We can talk online, by phone or in person (in Rotorua).

Thanks for reading and passing this on.

Lets change some lives together.

Lisa

Facebooktwitterpinterestlinkedin
Tiny Cass and Lisa Cover

Travel can open the mind, and shrink the ego

I’m back at my desk, at home in Rotorua, and loving getting my brain going again. It’s been wonderful, and challenging at times, to have seven weeks in Europe, much of the time alone with my girl.

The biggest challenges were days when my daughter recognised her introverted needs and demanded a day inside, away from all those people speaking another language. Got to respect a girl who knows what she needs! Even if spending a whole day inside role-playing with Playmobile figures was some kind of hell for me, most days I was all she had as a playmate, friend, mother and teacher.

Its been good for me to try and find joy in the things I usually think of as trials – to get to work re-writing some of my own stories. Anything is possible if we let go of expectations and choose to take delight in what is.

The story that I  found most challenging to let go of was that I need time alone to restore my energy and manage my well-being. While I certainly took off for walks on my own when I could, this wasn’t possible most days when my husband was working, However, I found I could work on finding a sense of calm while in the presence of others.

My natural state is to be highly aware of people around me, and this state of vigilance can become draining, hence my desire for restorative alone time. Developing an off-switch for this vigilance is a challenge, but I’m working on it. It’s kind of like practicing meditation. The big shift is changing my story so the door opens to the possibility of things being different.

So my reality right now is time to work alone or with clients while my daughter is at school. But I know that as I keep working on developing my vigilance off-switch, I can be less dependent on that restorative alone time, and be ready to take on new challenges.

Oh, in case you’re wondering about the pictures, Cass and I had fun exploring this magical playground in Freiburg, Germany. Thankfully the shrinking effect was not permanent. (Photo credits: Cassidy Berndt and Lisa Berndt).

Facebooktwitterpinterestlinkedin
dreamstime_m_58227898

Enough is enough: Seven steps to get you out of overwhelm

Last year sucked. You felt like you were running on a treadmill you could never get off: Kids to get to school; work with its endless demands; food to prepare, washing to do, collapse into bed exhausted; wake up and repeat. You’ve lost yourself in there somewhere.

But, hey, it’s a new year and tomorrow is a new day. It’s time to make a change and no one is going to do it for you. Taking responsibility for your own wellbeing is scary – but in the end it’s the path to freedom. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Here’s how:

  1. Set time aside to take stock. I know this sounds counter-intuitive. You’re overloaded. You don’t have time to stop and think about things. Well it’s time to stop using that as an excuse for not looking after yourself. There is always going to be more to do in life than you can fit in. But you’ve only got one life, so spend it on the things that matter to you. Believe me, once you step away you’ll wonder why you thought all those things were so important anyway. Set aside some time and go somewhere quiet where you won’t be disturbed, or talk to a trusted friend or coach. Ask yourself the hard questions: What is not working in my life right now? In my heart of hearts, what do I really want to do about it? You may not like the answers you come up with, but stick with it – maybe that’s just fear talking.
  2. Look at the big picture. If something is feeling off in your life it’s important to take a step back and look at your life as a whole. Sometimes discontent in one area of your life can show up as problems in another area. Work through the Circle of Life exercise, which can be downloaded from my website here. Is your life in balance? What area is the source of dissatisfaction? What could you do to improve your levels of satisfaction in that area of your life?
  3. What is your why? Not everyone is driven by a particular passion, but if you lack a sense of purpose in life it can feel as if you are just treading water. Take a look back over your life – things that you’ve loved doing and things that you’ve hated. Can you see any pattern? Is there a particular type of activity that you are drawn to? Does this coincide with how you earn your living? If it doesn’t, are there ways you can bring that passion into your work and increase your job satisfaction? Even having a clearer understanding of what drives you can help reduce overwhelm by helping you focus your efforts on things that matter to you.
  4. Check in with your values. What values are fundamental to you? Maybe you value health and wellbeing, balance, or spirituality. Or maybe you need to have ambition, success, or recognition in your life to feel satisfied. If you’re not sure how to identify your values get in touch with me and we can work through it together. Are your values being met by your work or lifestyle? Are there any values that are in conflict? Maybe this is causing stress in your life. Understanding the values that are important to you helps you choose work and a lifestyle that meets your needs. When values are in conflict we may experience a deep sense of discomfort that makes life seem like hard work. Just understanding where that discomfort comes from can make a big difference to your sense of satisfaction in life.
  5. How healthy are your boundaries? If you are constantly pulled around by other people’s demands and you struggle to get your own work done because of it, you may need to look at your boundaries. Setting healthy boundaries and learning how to say no is really important in this day and age where demands are constant and information floods our senses. It can be challenging to assert your own needs in a way that doesn’t come across as aggressive, but it can be done. Think about any relationship where things don’t feel quite right: are you able to balance your own needs with those of the other person? Could you be clearer in asserting your boundaries so interactions don’t leave you feeling drained? Setting boundaries around things like use of social media or TV watching can also help reduce overwhelm. Ask yourself how much of that activity is as actually beneficial to you, and how much is draining. Then find ways to stick to the limits you set yourself.
  6. Get out of the busy trap. Your mind is running so fast that even when you don’t have much on you can’t relax. That’s the busy buzz of a constant adrenaline high. If you don’t give your body and mind time and space to relax and repair you’re on the fast track to burn out. The first few times you stop ‘doing’ and just ‘be’ you’re likely to find it really uncomfortable. That’s OK. Relaxing takes practice if you’re out of the habit. Be kind to yourself and give yourself permission to do something that helps you wind down. A gentle walk in nature. A hot bath. Or listen to a meditation. There are lots of ways to learn simple mindfulness techniques that will train your brain to focus and relax more easily. You’ll find some of my favourites here on my website.
  7. Make a plan. Now you can see what the problem is, and you’ve got a better idea of which areas of your life need some renovating, so take some time to make a plan. Create a vision for where you want to get to. Plan out the steps you need to take to get you closer to that ideal. Pick a short term goal that is achievable and break it down into action points. How do you keep yourself working towards what you really want in life? Keep your vision current and visible. Celebrate the successes as you make progress. Notice what pushes you off track and deal with it, but don’t punish yourself. It’s OK to adjust goals and plans as you go, and nothing has to be perfect. Consistent, imperfect action will get you there more quickly than procrastinating until you feel fully prepared.

Getting out of overwhelm is not easy, especially if your stress levels are affecting your health. I know: I’ve been there. It’s a downward spiral. To make the change you need to seek support. Once you open up about your struggles you’ll find many of your friends and colleagues have been there too, and many have suffered serious physical or mental health issues as a result.

Don’t let that be you.

I’d love to know if you found this article helpful, if you have a question, or need a hand. Contact me on lisa@lifelab.co.nz, +64 21 1851248, or check out my website www.lifelab.co.nz. If you’re ready for some coaching, get in touch to book in for a free, no obligation assessment.

Facebooktwitterpinterestlinkedin